Safety or Risk: The Scary Truth about Living a Faith without Borders

This is my dog Sydney. She LOVES to be outside. 

She explores our backyard like it is her vast wonderland, which it probably seems like for a 12 pound puppy dog. 

The fence in our yard is in need of just enough repair that she has some small windows in to what lies beyond her safe haven. She barks at the other dogs like she is much bigger than she is. She defends her turf when the neighbor is tending her garden. She owns her space and is bold. 

Enter the open door...

Sometimes when I go out front to take out trash or get the mail, I will invite her to go with me. She hesitantly stands at the front door, wanting so badly to go out with me and explore this strange new world - full of possibilities and new adventure. 

And yet she hesitates. No amount of coaxing will get her to budge.

Even though I will be right by her side and will not let anything happen to her, the great unknown is just a little to much for her. She is happy with her walls and fence and the safety and comfort they bring. 

And so, she stays. Safe in what she knows and missing out on all that she might discover if she just ventured out.

Today I feel a bit like Sydney. 

A few weeks ago I was comfortable with my life and my ministry. Great house. Wonderful family. All was well.  And then God saw fit to rock that boat a bit. 

He has seen fit to begin to break down my safe walls and opened the door to possibilities for my future that I did not know were there or would not have even considered just weeks ago. I hear Him asking me, nudging me, to follow Him and just trust. I know in my heart that He will never let me down and will always be by my side, and yet - I hesitate. Comfortable in the walls I have made for myself.

As He so often does, He spoke to me loudly through music this week. 

I have had this song, Oceans by Hillsong, on repeat for most of the last 2 days. The chorus is shouting at me and yet gently soothing my soul at the same time. It says this:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

And so the decision is mine. I can stay where I am and wonder what greatness God has for me beyond the borders I have built for myself, or I can venture out to the unknown - firm in the knowledge that my faith WILL be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. 

I don't know about you - but I choose to walk forward in faith. Trusting God will lead and guide. That what He has for me through that open door is more than I could ever ask for or imagine. 


So what about you? Are you being called beyond your trust borders? Are you ready to go? What is holding you back?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I would love to hear from you. Shoot me your comments and let me know what you think. Share it with others as well and follow this blog for future thoughts and reflections. 

The Times They are a Changin'

How do you feel about change?

Love it?
Hate it?
Somewhere in the middle?

I am one that, for the most part, likes it. I have a tendency to get bored when things stay the same for too long. I can usually navigate change well and enjoy the process. 

However...

What happens when God asks you to change and it involves something that you love and hold very dear to you heart? That's the world I am living in right now. 

For the last 7 years I have had the privilege of serving the Lord through my music. It is my love and passion, but God asked me to lay it down. He has asked me to give up something that I hold very very dear and instead, move in to a place of uncertainty. 

I am not a fan of uncertainty. I like to be able to see the picture even when the pieces are not all together yet. I actually usually do that fairly easily. But not this time. It is just blurry. I can't see how things are going to all work out and it makes me uneasy. 

The real "ah-ha" moment came when I heard God say "Do you love your job and your ministry more than you love Me?" "Will you lay it down for Me?"

I was faced with the ugly question of whether or not I had made my worship an idol that was more important that the One who was the object of that worship.

In the Bible, Genesis 22, Abraham was faced with the same situation. He longed for a son and when Isaac was born, he thanked God for the gift of his son. He loved Isaac more than his own life. 

Then God asked Abraham to make the most difficult decision of his life. God asked him to lay Isaac on an alter and sacrifice him like an animal to honor the Lord. 

And Abraham did what the Lord asked.

Only at the very last moment, God stopped Abraham from killing his son and provided a ram to sacrifice in his place. 

God saw that Abraham was willing to lay down his most precious thing, a supreme sacrifice for sure. And so God blessed Abraham and all his descendants.

I am not comparing my situation in any way to the magnificent sacrifice Abraham was willing to make for the Lord, but I do feel like God was asking the same question of me. 

"Are you willing to give up what you hold dear because I ask it of you. Are you willing to move to a place of uncertainty that may cost you something because you love me and you trust that I have something better for you?"

And so, with tears and mixed emotions, I said "Yes, Lord. I will lay it down for you. I will lay it down because I love you and I trust you."

As I navigate this change, I don't do it right every day - but I try my best to give it over to the Lord because He asked it of me. I strive to navigate these days with grace and trust that His plan for my life is far better than anything I could ever ask or imagine.

What may He be asking you to give up? Is there anything that you may are putting above Him in your life? Will you lay it down if and when he asks?

Breath Taking

There are not many things in this world that are truly breath taking, and the ones that are - many times we are to busy to notice. This morning I had my breath taken away.


My normal schedule is to wake up and make lunch for the boy and then take him to school (usually still in my pajamas) a bit bleary eyed. This morning, both my young ones had to be to school early, so off went at the crack of dawn. I am not sure if it was because I was more alert this morning, already having showered for the day, or what exactly, but when we drove out of our neighborhood this morning I literally gasped when I saw the sunrise.

It was truly magnificent. This picture was taken a full 15 minutes after I originally saw it and it had changed significantly, but it is still awe-inspiring. I had my daughter turn around to look at it out the back window of the car and reminded her that we were given the gift of that sunrise this morning. 


The moment so touched me that I have thought most of the day about the creativity of my God and how each morning He paints the sky like a fresh canvas, never looking exactly like any other one and then repeats the same thing each evening. I wondered what the sunrise in Pakistan this morning looked like and in Saudi Arabia as I read my Facebook news feed and chatted with friends abroad. All unique and yet beautiful and breathing taking for those who were blessed enough to take notice.


These thoughts took my mind to the very first sunrise and sunset with only God there to enjoy His masterpieces. How breathtaking that must have been.


It saddens me to think how many of these gifts I have missed because I am to sleepy or to busy to notice. So this year of 2012 is devoted to not missing the breathtaking moments as often as I am blessed to catch them. To hearing the still small voice of the Great Creator beckoning me to stop and see what He made for me to discover each day. 


Happy New Year and here's to a year of catching awe-inspiring, breathtaking moments and being thankful for each and every one.

I, the Doorkeeper

I am just about to finish up a 21 day  journey with the Lord. It has been challenging at times, but mostly I have really enjoyed it. The reading plan that is taking me through this journey is incredibly well done. I am seeing things in scripture that I have not seen before or am seeing them in a new light. I find myself anting to know more about what these passages mean and why they were written. With only 3 days left, today was no exception.


Here is what I read today:


Psalm 84



1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts!2 My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.


3  Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God.4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise! Selah


5  Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.6 As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.7 They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.


8  O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah9 Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of your anointed!


10  For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.12 O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!


This Psalm is so rich and full of great nuggets, but the one God spoke right in to my heart is in vs. 10. For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.


I had heard this verse many times and I always thought the doorkeeper reference was to someone who held a "lesser than "post" of some kind. Something that they were forced to do and maybe were looked down upon. Boy was I wrong. The doorkeeper was actually (in my opinion) one of the best positions in the whole temple. They were tasked with ushering people in to the temple to meet with God. They also sang and ministered to the Lord with music day and night. The only bad part of the job is that they were on a rotation and only got to do it 2 weeks out of the year (thus the reference to "a day in your courts is better than a thousand years elsewhere". He never wants his turn to end.)


As I was reading this passage, I realized that worship leaders really are the equivalent to the doorkeepers in the Old Testament. We usher people in to experience the presence of God (when we do our job right) and we have the privilege of ministering to the Lord in song.


The writer of this Psalm is reminding the readers how much more desirable it is to be in the presence of the Almighty God than to take part in the things of this world that so often seem to give pleasure but that are only fleeting and often times sinful.


So today, as I continue on my journey with God, I embrace the call to be a doorkeeper for His people. I believe that whether you call yourself a "worship leader" or not, you can still join me as a door keeper. You can daily, in your own world, let people experience the Almighty by your actions and you can minister to the Lord in praise and worship whether it is sung from the mountain tops or quietly in your heart. He just longs to be with you.


Be a doorkeeper today. It really is the best job around!

Need a Little Help Here

I haven't written in a while. I guess maybe because I have not had a lot to say. Usually I write when I read something in my quiet time that stirs my heart, or I feel God impressing something on me to share. Today I had one of those moments. 

I had dropped the last of the kids off at school for the day and I was on my way to work. This drive is not long, only about 5 minutes. I am a creature of habit (so I've been told) and I usually go the same route. Today was no different. On my drive I pass though mostly residential neighborhoods but don't usually come across many people - I guess because of the time of the morning, but today God wanted my attention.

On my way to work there is a section of road that has a hill, not a huge one in a car but for the little girl riding her bike to school, it was obvious it was a bit of a struggle. She was, in my estimation, probably about 7 or 8 and she was laden with a rather large back pack full of her school supplies which I am sure added to her struggle. Her father was riding his bicycle along side her to ensure her safety on their short journey. When he sensed her struggling, he came along side her on his bike and put his strong hand on the center of her backpack and just gave an extra bit of "umph" so that she could make it up the hill.

God had started the wheels turning. But if that one picture was not enough, I continued on a few more blocks and came across another little girl even smaller than the first one, also sporting a rather large backpack relative to her size. This one was trying desperately to get into her families SUV with little success. Once again, along came her father making ready her seat, and helped her achieve her goal.

Not one but two examples of the same thing within 2 minutes of each other. OK God, I get it.

What a beautiful reminder that when I struggle appears to be a steep hill in my life or come across what seems to be an impossible task, my Father in heaven is there right long side me to give me that extra push needed or to lift me up when I don't have the strength on my own.

Why do you say, Israel, 

“The Lord is not aware of what is happening to me,
My God is not concerned with my vindication”?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is an eternal God,
the creator of the whole earth.
He does not get tired or weary;
there is no limit to his wisdom.

He gives strength to those who are tired;
to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy.

Even youths get tired and weary;
even strong young men clumsily stumble. 

But those who wait for the Lord’s help find renewed strength;
they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings,
they run without growing weary,
they walk without getting tired.

Isaiah 40:27-31

So are you like the little girls I saw today, needing a bit of extra help fro your Father to make it through? I know I am! The great thing is that He is faithful to give us the help if we will only ask. He is there right beside us, just waiting... 

I love you! (now be condemned to hell)

Thought that title might get your attention. God has really been messing with me the last 36 hours about this topic. Here's the short back story...

I have a good friend, whom I love dearly, who invited me to take a look at a conversation that had been taking place via Facebook feed arguing religion. This friend takes more of a Universalist approach to god and spirituality - kind of "as long as a person is sincerely searching for some form of Deity, a loving god would let them spend eternity together" type thinking. 

After several posts back and forth, I felt like I was not getting anywhere, so I wrote, "I think you are in a place where you have your heals dug in and no matter what is said, you will just argue your point. You know what I believe and I think I get what you believe and the two are not the same. At some point, we will know we were either right or wrong. I do hope that you know that just because someone doesn't believe the same as I do, doesn't mean I don't love them. I love you!" End of discussion, right?

Well God woke me up at about 2:30 the next morning and really convicted me that really what I was saying with that statement is "I love you - but I am not willing to keep arguing the truth with you until you are no longer destined for hell." Harsh,  right?  No - SPOT ON!

I do not want my friend to spend eternity outside the presence of God. How many other people that I love fall in to this category. We agree to disagree and just don't discuss it. How selfish of me! Do I really LOVE these people or just give it lip service, because I am pretty sure that a love that would allow a friend to spend eternity in hell because it is to hard to keep talking about differences in  belief is not the kind of love I am called to have as a follower of Jesus Christ. 

In my Bible reading I just began the book of Lamentations. The children of Israel had been exiled to Babylon and after so many years hearing the voice of God through the prophets (and taking that for granted), He fell silent. It broke my heart this morning to read the pleas to hear God again. They felt abandoned and lost and alone. They cried out in anguish and got no response. 

I can't even imagine that in my worst night mares. Being separated from God - well my mind can't wrap around that. But that is what people are destined for in hell. The absence of God. Totally gone. No evidence of Him at all. Does anyone deserve that?

The Bible calls me to lay down my life for my friends, that's a pretty tall order, but if it means that my friends won't have to spend eternity in a vacuum of Godlessness - that I am willing to fight for! Lord give me the courage and the words...

Who do you need to start (or finish) a conversation with today?

Broken

Today I am sitting in St. Arbucks far from home having a non-fat, extra-hot, with-whip, 1/2-pump, mocha-white mocha (how's that for an order - you may commit it to memory so that if you ever have need of a favor you will know I can be bought) and finding myself having a bunch of alone time to reflect. 

I find myself looking out the window at the people passing me by and wondering how many of them would consider themselves broken? Broken in some way, mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. How many are searching for literally God only knows what?

I know that I certainly fit in to the broken category in many ways. I guess we all do in our own way. We have sin to thank for that. But today I am finding myself broken in a different way. I find that God is breaking my heart in new ways for people who need Him. People who are broken because of this fallen world and don't know that only Jesus is the fix for that. 

I find myself holding back tears every few moments as I am touched by a song or a thought and know that I am not alone in my tears. God sheds them everyday for His creation that He loves so very much. Those that He longs to mend in various ways but will not turn to Him. His creation that turns away from Him to find fulfillment and healing in other things. 

So today, I welcome being broken. I embrace the tears and want to see my world as God does. I feel that unless I do, the people God puts in my path and on my heart will continue to be broken in a way that is not desirable. 

How long has it been since you took a good long look at the world around you and were broken as you saw it through God's eyes? Take some time and do it. Someones life could depend on it!

And if you are looking for a little light listening to spur you on, check out:

Addison Road - Run

Mercy Me - Won't You be My Love
Hillsong Song - Hosanna
better yet- support the bands and go buy them on itunes :o)

Heaven Can Not Contain Him

It never fails to amaze me what new things I see when I read scripture and what God puts in my heart when I spend time in His word. This year, along with a good friend for accountability, I am endeavoring to read through the Bible chronologically. As of today, I am officially 44.1% done. Yea! 

The point of that paragraph was not to brag, but to let you know how many years in the past my resolutions to read through the Bible have failed and I truly believe that the accountability has been the key to staying on track this time. I am just to weak and lazy to do it on my own. So, get an accountability partner and get after it. You don't have to wait til January 1. Pick a partner, pick a plan and get after it. Here is the link! And if you don't have a partner, put me down - I would be honored to monitor your progress for you! (and leave me a comment if you decide to take on this challenge.)

Now - on to what God is doing in my heart today. 

The current subject of reading is Solomon building the temple of the Lord. Man! What and undertaking that was. It took him 7 years to complete. Specially cut wood (sorry H - it was cedar), carvings on all the walls and doors of flowers, palm trees and Cherubim, and then all of that overlaid with pure gold. I struggle in my mind to even imagine such a magnificent place. Here is an artist's rendering but I imagine that this does not come close to doing it justice. You can read about the description in 2 Chronicles 2.

The verse that stuck out to me was when Solomon, in all his wisdom, spoke this in 2 Chron. 2:6 -

"But who is able to build him a house, since heaven, even highest heaven, cannot contain him?"

Even highest heaven cannot contain Him! And with one small phrase, I am once again put in my place. Small and not able to bow low enough to worship my God. 

Why is it that it is so very easy for us (me) to let my mind wander away from the reality of who I worship, who I give my life to?

I find myself taking the reading of His word casually, as something to check off my To-Do list and move on. I find myself forgetting that when I am putting together a church service, I am not just creating a list of songs and a flow for the morning, but I am needing to search the heart of the Almighty God for His plans to commune with His people. As my son would say, FAIL!

Oh God! Forgive me for letting this world get in the way of seeing You for who You are. For forgetting the awe and reverence I should live in every moment of every day. For thinking in any way I can on my own bring people to have a revelation of You. 

Not even heaven can contain you!

Lord, thank you for your mercy. Thank you for "right sizing" me yet again. My life, my all is Yours! Use me to point people to you, the omnipotent, awesome, one and only God!!

Holy Discontent wk. 1

It seems that people, other than me, are eager to hear the heart of God for their lives. Go figure! He has brought together what I think will prove to be a great mix of women for the study of Bill Hybel's book Holy Discontent. For the next 7 weeks, we will pour over it, underline, highlight and discuss. I would like to bring some of that here to those who can't be in the group physically. Feel free to buy the book and get in on the discussion via comments or just read what is written here. Either way - I hope that God reveals something to you about your Holy Discontent. Let's get started...

To start, Bill asks this question, "Why do people do what they do?" For most people when you speak of their job, the answer is to get a paycheck. However, there are some who are passionate about what they do, so much so that they do it for very little money - teachers, social workers, pastors, the list could go on. Not that only people who don't make much money can be passionate about their jobs. But people do other things besides working with their time. They volunteer, they give money to causes. One woman in our group, "V",  supports 2 women in countries where women have little to no human rights. She stated (paraphrasing) that she does this because it tugs at her heart and is wrong, so she does what she can to help.

So, why do you do what you do? To go one step further - what are you passionate about? What get the "firestorm of frustration" (as Bill calls it) going in your gut? What is your underlying motivation?

In the opening chapter of the book we look at Moses. A Hebrew man raised by the Egyptian Pharaoh's daughter, He did not taste of the slavery his people did. But one day he was taking a walk and came across an Egyptian beating a Hebrew. He grew so angry that he killed the Egyptian. The next day he was out walking and came across 2 Hebrews fighting with each other. His eyes were opened to the plight of his people and the firestorm was ignited. The story is much longer than I will go into here, you can read it in Genesis. but he basically was so heart broken to see his people self destructing that he couldn't stand it any more and decided he had to do something about it. After a life changing discussion with a burning bush (GOD), he found that he would not be on his own in his fight for the Hebrew people, God's heart was breaking for them as well and they would fight together. This was Moses' holy discontent. 

Hybel's goes on to say that "still today, what wrecks the heart of someone who loves God is often the very thing that God wants to use to fire them up to do something that, under normal circumstances, they would never attempt to do." So it begins with you determining what it is that you just can't stand. Hybel's also pointed out the very important fact that God is in the business of restoration. If we only look at the world through the lens of what is broken and forget that God desires to restore it, it will only result in anger and frustration.

When we realize that the anger and frustration we feel for the things that break our hearts in this world also break the heart of God, we have usually identified our holy discontent. 

One of my favorite lines says this, "The most inspired, motivated, and driven people I know are the ones who live their lives from the energy of their holy discontent. Most important, they suit up and jump in to the game when God says, "If you'll hook up with me, I'll involve you in effecting some much needed change around here!""

Oh, that I would live my life from that place. Actually taking action instead of just complaining. The bible is filled with stories of common, ordinary men and women who have partnered with God to do things they could never do on their own. I want to be one of those!

So take stock. What fuels your firestorm of frustration? What breaks you heart and makes you want to help change the world? If you can't answer that quite yet, stick with us on our journey. I pray that our faithful God will speak clearly to each of us and that we will be courageous enough to jump in the deep end with both feet!

Chapter 2 next Wednesday, May 26. 7-8:30 pm in High Connections at the church. Join us there or online.

The Friendship and The Fear

Yesterday was a typical Sunday. Full of church and work and worship and fellowship with other artist/worshipers as we sat in the room back stage waiting for our time to once again take the stage to lead the congregation in song. What happens in that room during our "down time" is a mystery to most and each week is very different, depending on the characters that are appear (and I do mean characters!) Lot's of bonding and conversation takes place over 6 hours of on and off the stage. 

At one point yesterday, the conversation turned to a song called Friend of God. Now, no offense to the writer, but that is a song that I can hardly stomach singing. The version of it that most people hear is to me - very "bubble gum." I feel that it shows only the "hey let's go fishing together, or to the mall" side of God. One participant in the conversation made a statement something to the effect of "lots of people come to church and need to see that side of God." I assume this is because they only hear about the wrath side of Him from a non-churched person's perspective. 

The conversation continued down that line for just a bit and while I agree to a certain extent that everyone who comes to God needs to know that He is desires to be their friend and have them come to Him with any and everything in their lives, most people forget that He is also to be feared as seen by David's mistake referenced in my previous blog post. 

I always find it humorous when I have a conversation and shortly there after God brings something to my attention in scripture that adds something to the conversation (a true picture of a friend I suppose.) This morning in my reading I read this:

Psalm 25:12-14 Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.

For me, the highlighted verse nails it on the head! How can you have a friendship with someone you do not KNOW and how can you KNOW GOD and not fear Him? They go hand in hand.  If I have just met someone, I would not normally consider them my friend, only an acquaintance. To be a true friend, it takes relationship and to build relationship you have to spend time getting to really know that person. 

In my lifetime, I have had very few people that I would consider friends in the deepest sense of the word. A friendship takes work, it takes time, it takes giving more than you get sometimes, it takes honesty, it takes love and all that takes effort. But when that occurs - you have something very precious and oh how I long to have that kind of friendship with my maker.

Several years ago a singer/song writer named Matt Redman came on the Christian music scene. Most of you would know his as the writer of The Heart of Worship. I had occasions to hear him speak and not only learn from his leading as a worshiper but as a God follower. His heart is one that is not found very often. I imagine him like King David - a man after God's own heart. He wrote a song called The Friendship and The Fear. The lyrics of the song are rich and so I leave you to ponder them today and ask yourself these - On the friendship scale, have much to you give compared to how much you gain? Do you fear the Lord, I mean really fear Him? If you struggle with how to answer these questions, then join me in the ever present quest to know Him better. If you could answer them to your satisfaction fairly easily, then I would challenge you by saying I don't think you KNOW Him as well as you think you do.

VERSE 1:
Show me the way of the cross once again
Denying myself for the love that I've gained
Everything's You now, everything's changed,
It's time You had my whole life;
You can have it all.

CHORUS:

I resolve to give it all;
Some things must die,
Some things must live.
Not, "What can I gain,"
But, "What can I give?"
If much is required when much is received,
Then You can have my whole life;
Jesus, have it all.

VERSE 2:
I've given like a beggar but lived like the rich
And crafted myself a more comfortable cross,
Yet what I am called to is deeper than this,
It's time You had my whole life;
You can have it all. 

Descriptors

So, by way of update (if you have been following the blog), I am going strong on day 114 of reading chronologically through the Bible. It is actually a very cool way to do it because not only do I get the stories in order as they occurred (as much as possible), but YouVersion has this little box on one side of my page that keeps track of my progress. Today I am officially 31% done with reading the Bible through in a year. Being a big numbers girl, seeing that graph move, knowing that someone is keeping track of my progress gives me the accountability I need to keep going every day.

I have officially moved into the section of the Bible that is the "not so mind gripping" - the LISTS! Yesterday, in 1 Chronicles 1 & 2, I read the lists of people who had these sons, who had these sons, who had these sons and every once in a while a daughter was thrown in the mix (that is a whole separate blog post), etc. When reading through these lists, I noticed something. Occasionally, I would come across a name and there would be a descriptor there like: 

The sons of Ham: Cush, Egypt, Put, and Canaan. The sons of Cush: Seba, Havilah, Sabta, Raama, and Sabteca. The sons of Raamah: Sheba and Dedan. Cush fathered Nimrod. He was the first on earth to be a mighty man. A few more verses down it describes The son of Carmi: Achan, the troubler of Israel... 

In reading 2 chapters, I came across a few more of these descriptors and it made me wonder "why did these particular people deserve the extra line in scripture?" Now, I am not a seminary grad and so I am sure this is probably not the correct answer to this question, but in my head, what makes sense is that they did something that made them stand out and was noteworthy. Some good, some not so good.

Then in today's reading I saw this in Psalm 87:6a The Lord records as he registers the peoples.

Humm... what is He recording about me? Daunting question! What is God recording about how I am living my life? What descriptors would I find behind my name in His record?

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have stumbled across a bit of a heated debate in one of my comment threads about social injustice. ( I so love stirring the pot!) At one point, commentators said something about it being all about "us and what we know" and  "turning into a "who" is more prideful than the other." The funny thing is that I know all of these people and would not consider any of them prideful or self centered (and I certainly know of enough people who ARE to adequately compare!) I guess if anyone speaks from experience or tells others what they know or have done it can come off as prideful or self serving to some. We all get labeled with something by someone, even ourselves. 

We use descriptors to tell people who we are in our profiles, people use descriptors to introduce us to someone new, God uses descriptors when He records things about me in His record book. The latter are really the only ones I care about. I just really pray that of all the things God records about my life, the good outweighs the bad, the action overshadows the apathy, the love outshines the hate, the passion overtakes the indifference. I won't always get it right - I just want to be moving in the right direction.

What will he record about you today?

Modern Day Slaves

Did you know that today, April 21, 2010 there are more slaves in the world than ever before in human history. It is estimated that there are somewhere between 27 & 30 million slaves, but some counts are as high as 200 million. The most distressing fact is that 80% of those are women and children forced into some form of sexual slavery. 80%!!!

Last night I went to a advanced screening of a new documentary film done by a group of students (Artists for Abolition) at Texas A&M Commerce called Worth Fighting For. The event was compelling to say the least. To walk into the room and be confronted with girls behind a chain link fence holding signs with their age and how much it would cost you for an hour of "pleasure", all the while being explained the process by the "sales man" - well it was extremely unnerving! One of the most disturbing parts was that as the girls got younger - the price went up. It made me sick, especially since the girls portrayed were the same ages as my girls. I learned that 6 people are sold into slavery every 2 minutes. In the time it takes me to write this blog post, there will be about 60 more slaves on this planet, some as young as 4.

When the film began, there was not a sound in the room, except the occasional sound of tears being shed for those oppressed. One of the guys that helped create the film said something that will be burned into my memory forever (I HOPE!) He said that when he was confronted with the reality of this injustice in our world he wept. He went to his campus and laid face down with his open bible on the quad cement and cried out to God saying "Lord, I want someone to weep with me." He then felt God answer him by saying "I want someone to weep with me too."

I think we have become so callused to the injustice in our world that we forget that God weeps over it and he longs for someone to weep with him. It brought to mind a line form one of my favorite songs that says "Break my heart for what breaks Yours..." a line that in daily life is pushed to the back of my mind and replaced with my everyday, suburban to-do list. What on earth has happened to me that I have become so comfortable in my life that I forget that God weeps over the enslaved and the broken hearted and the lost?

Well, as I am still trying to process all of this and what it means for my future, I know one thing for sure - I have been changed at my very core and now I have a decision to make: Will I sit and let apathy kill me and others, or will I  embrace this new adventure God seems to have put in front of me, let Him take the lead and just follow?

"For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, Now I will arise," says the LORD; "I will set him in the safety for which he yearns." - Psalm 12:5

An Ocean of Tears

I LOVE this picture, which is really funny because I have a fear of water, but looking at this picture I feel a sense of calm and peace. There are many other pictures of the ocean that are anything but calm and peaceful. (Deadliest Catch anyone?) I think it is the rough sea and what is IN the sea that I fear. I don't know what it holds and it makes me afraid. 

A few years ago, my husband and I were taken on a trip with his work to Mexico. It was a great trip! First one in our marriage that we didn't go with any kids YAY! They had all of our days planned out for us and one of the excursions they planned was on a large catamaran out into the ocean to go snorkeling.  GULP!!! I seriously almost didn't go. I was to afraid. But after taking some dramamine I boarded the boat, knowing that God had my days numbered and if I was supposed to die in this ocean and I didn't go, then He would have me miraculously dropped in the middle of said ocean to fulfill His will for my life. Melodramatic - maybe! But I was scared and it helped me to rationalize it that way. 

Anyway - I got on the boat and ended up having a really good day. The ocean was realatively calm and I even kind of fell in love with snorkeling (with the exception of scraping my legs up on a bunch of rocks and bleeding in to the water as I swam the 100 yards back to the boat fearing a shark attack! (No really - that part is true!) As much fear as I had of the unknown ocean, I conquered it and it felt really good. I would probably do it again.

Some ocean experiences don't end like that. I mean Titanic, Posiden Adventure, The Deep, JAWS. Ha! But seriously. I have heard stories of friend who have been on cruises that have hit rough sea and it was NOT fun. Not sure I ever want to go there. I am sure they didn't want to either, nor did they think that would be their experience when they set out on their adventure, but sometimes God has other things in store for us than what we have planned. 

I thought of the ocean today as I was reading in Psalm 56. Verse 8 says this:  

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

In my head, I tried to imagine a book that God keeps that has written down every time I (you, the whole world) tosses because we can't sleep due to life circumstances or are tossed to and fro by the "waves" we encounter.  I also pictured a bottle big enough to hold every tear drop that has ever fallen from the eyes of the human beings He created and loves so much. That bottle must be bigger than any ocean I have ever seen. Some of those tears were cried in the middle of the tempest and some were cried in a calm respite, but He knows every one of them. That thought kind of blew my mind!

In life, there are no guarantees of what is to come. Right now my life feels somewhere in the middle of the two pictures posted here, but that could change in an instant. As I am writing this I think of many in all sorts of places - friends who have recently lost a baby, a daughter who is wading through the stress of college, a woman who for the first time in a long time is at peace in her life, a couple who is homeless and through all that stress is still seeing God's provision for their precious family, a couple awaiting the arrival of their new daughter, a husband and father who feels imprisoned by his job and yet fights through it every day for the ones he cares about, the young mother who is overwhelmed, a precious 6 yr. old and her family fighting her cancer, and one who is grateful for a year cancer free. The list could go on...

No matter what the sea of your life looks like today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or the next take these words of David to heart in Psalm 56:9b -10:

This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. 

This was written during a horrible time for David as he and his men were being hunted by King Saul. Yet he knew that God saw him, held every tear that he cried, counted every tossing and David trusted. God is in control of your life if you have given it to Him. He sees you. He knows you. He loves you!

And next time you see the ocean (stormy or calm), remember God has it all in the palm of His hand. 

The Pea Shooter vs. The Bazooka

I Samuel 17: 4 - 11 

And there came out from the camp of the Philistines a champion named Goliath of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span. He had a helmet of bronze on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail, and the weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of bronze. And he had bronze armor on his legs, and a javelin of bronze slung between his shoulders. The shaft of his spear was like a weaver's beam, and his spear's head weighed six hundred shekels of iron. And his shield-bearer went before him. He stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, Why have you come out to draw up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us. And the Philistine said, I defy the ranks of Israel this day. Give me a man, that we may fight together. When Saul and all Israel heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid.

It's a story most of us have heard. A young boy called from shepherding the sheep defeats the giant with only 5 stones and a sling shot.  As I read this story afresh today in my bible reading time, I was struck again with the magnitude of what actually happened. Israel had been at war with the Philistines for a long time. Battle, after battle. Then comes the giant, Goliath. How much of a giant was he really that a whole army could be afraid to fight him? Glad you asked! Best estimate is that he was around 10 FEET TALL!! Now I have a friend that I sing with who makes all of us who stand next to him feel like he is a giant, but he is no where near 10 feet tall. I think the tallest guy I have ever know was 6'11" - and that is really tall. But 10 FEET! Whoa! No wonder all of Saul's men shied away at the prospect of being the one to defeat the champion of the Philistines. 

So here's the cliff notes of the rest of the story - The war could be over by just one man defeating this giant of a man, but there were no takers, until David came along. His father sent him to give food to his brothers who were fighting in the army. While he was there, David hears about this giant and says he will be the one to go and fight him. Most everyone thinks he is nuts! Saul (the king) tries to outfit David with armor, which was to big for him to move in, so David went out to met Goliath with only his sling shot, his shepherd's staff and 5 small rocks he picked up in the stream on the way to the battle field. Goliath laughs at this boy who thinks he can defeat him. David shoots a rock into Goliath's head with his sling shot. Goliath goes down. David takes Goliath's sword and cuts off his head. End of story!

This got me thinking, why was David so confident that he would win against this 10 ft. tall seasoned warrior? Well, he had the God of the universe on his side and he knew it. Seemed like not much of a risk when you looked at it stacked that way. But so many times when I look at what life is throwing at me it can seem like I am looking in the face of a bazooka and I only have a pea shooter in my hand. So I asked myself this morning, what giants I am facing in my life and am I trusting the God of the universe, who is on my side to defeat them and I ask you to ponder the same question?

He doesn't ask us to come fully equipped. David certainly didn't. He didn't have experience. He didn't have armor or a sword, and for all those looking on didn't seem to have long to live(given the challenge ahead of him.) But God more than made up for where David was lacking and David knew He would!

God + David's willing heart + 5 small stones and a sling shot = victory against a giant long ago. 

God + YOUR willing heart + the little you have to give = victory over what giants in your life today?

God IS faithful. God IS working in you today. God IS waiting and willing to fight your giants today. Will you let Him?