Broken

Today I am sitting in St. Arbucks far from home having a non-fat, extra-hot, with-whip, 1/2-pump, mocha-white mocha (how's that for an order - you may commit it to memory so that if you ever have need of a favor you will know I can be bought) and finding myself having a bunch of alone time to reflect. 

I find myself looking out the window at the people passing me by and wondering how many of them would consider themselves broken? Broken in some way, mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. How many are searching for literally God only knows what?

I know that I certainly fit in to the broken category in many ways. I guess we all do in our own way. We have sin to thank for that. But today I am finding myself broken in a different way. I find that God is breaking my heart in new ways for people who need Him. People who are broken because of this fallen world and don't know that only Jesus is the fix for that. 

I find myself holding back tears every few moments as I am touched by a song or a thought and know that I am not alone in my tears. God sheds them everyday for His creation that He loves so very much. Those that He longs to mend in various ways but will not turn to Him. His creation that turns away from Him to find fulfillment and healing in other things. 

So today, I welcome being broken. I embrace the tears and want to see my world as God does. I feel that unless I do, the people God puts in my path and on my heart will continue to be broken in a way that is not desirable. 

How long has it been since you took a good long look at the world around you and were broken as you saw it through God's eyes? Take some time and do it. Someones life could depend on it!

And if you are looking for a little light listening to spur you on, check out:

Addison Road - Run

Mercy Me - Won't You be My Love
Hillsong Song - Hosanna
better yet- support the bands and go buy them on itunes :o)

Holy Discontent Wk #3

So sorry that I skipped a week of posting on the book. The "Reader's Digest" version of last week is that it gave an overview of the holy discontent of great people in history like Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa. There was not much speaking directly to me, so I found it hard to write on, although the group discussion was good and I discovered something about myself. I have MHDD - Multiple Holy Discontent Disorder. I thought I had mine pegged after week one, alas, week 2 brought things into a clearer light. (and before you worry to much about my MHDD - I also discovered that I am not alone in it.) So, if you have not quite found your HD (Holy Discontent), fear not and read on.

This week's reading I found easy to read and thought provoking. The chapter title is Your "One Thing." Before you worry that you have been off track with all the many things you give you time and energy and passion to, relax. Hybels is quick to let readers know that we, as believers, should feel passion and take action on things that call for it (like earthquake relief in Haiti), but all of those things are probably not your "one thing".

Eph. 2:10 says that "we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Basically that means that even before we were born, God had specific things He set us apart to do. (yes, YOU TOO!). As I read this book and think about what that might be for me, the picture becomes more and more clear. I am right where I am supposed to be, spurring others on to a more connected, passionate worship of God.  I will say that it took someone else pointing it out to me before I saw that though. I mean, I KNEW that in my heart and my spirit but I think I was so busy trying to look (2 chapters in to the book - can we say over achiever) for something new and unique as my HD that I totally missed what God had already revealed to me in so many ways before. 

If you are reading this and thinking you are behind the curve because you are still not sure what your HD is yet - don't be! Not everyone in the discussion group has clarity yet, and I don't think most are supposed to at this point. It is a process after all. To help in the process, Hybels gives this description, "Your "one thing" is the stirring situation that causes so much damage to your soul that it brings you to your own Popeye moment - a place where you feel you simply must do something. ... it is God inviting you into a intentional and personalized partnership to renovate reality. "

In short, your HD is something that: wrecks you, vies for all of your attention, keeps you awake at night capturing your heart and your imagination. It is the one thing inside you that your soul feels MUST BE ADDRESSED. When you find it you will know "you were born for it."

In new and exciting ways, God is re-purposing in my soul what I was born for - to worship Him with everything thing that I am and to help others do the same. So, how about you? Do you know what you were born for? Sound off in the comment section and let's get a little discussion going for those who are not able to make the meet-ups. Ready - Set - GO!

Holy Discontent wk. 1

It seems that people, other than me, are eager to hear the heart of God for their lives. Go figure! He has brought together what I think will prove to be a great mix of women for the study of Bill Hybel's book Holy Discontent. For the next 7 weeks, we will pour over it, underline, highlight and discuss. I would like to bring some of that here to those who can't be in the group physically. Feel free to buy the book and get in on the discussion via comments or just read what is written here. Either way - I hope that God reveals something to you about your Holy Discontent. Let's get started...

To start, Bill asks this question, "Why do people do what they do?" For most people when you speak of their job, the answer is to get a paycheck. However, there are some who are passionate about what they do, so much so that they do it for very little money - teachers, social workers, pastors, the list could go on. Not that only people who don't make much money can be passionate about their jobs. But people do other things besides working with their time. They volunteer, they give money to causes. One woman in our group, "V",  supports 2 women in countries where women have little to no human rights. She stated (paraphrasing) that she does this because it tugs at her heart and is wrong, so she does what she can to help.

So, why do you do what you do? To go one step further - what are you passionate about? What get the "firestorm of frustration" (as Bill calls it) going in your gut? What is your underlying motivation?

In the opening chapter of the book we look at Moses. A Hebrew man raised by the Egyptian Pharaoh's daughter, He did not taste of the slavery his people did. But one day he was taking a walk and came across an Egyptian beating a Hebrew. He grew so angry that he killed the Egyptian. The next day he was out walking and came across 2 Hebrews fighting with each other. His eyes were opened to the plight of his people and the firestorm was ignited. The story is much longer than I will go into here, you can read it in Genesis. but he basically was so heart broken to see his people self destructing that he couldn't stand it any more and decided he had to do something about it. After a life changing discussion with a burning bush (GOD), he found that he would not be on his own in his fight for the Hebrew people, God's heart was breaking for them as well and they would fight together. This was Moses' holy discontent. 

Hybel's goes on to say that "still today, what wrecks the heart of someone who loves God is often the very thing that God wants to use to fire them up to do something that, under normal circumstances, they would never attempt to do." So it begins with you determining what it is that you just can't stand. Hybel's also pointed out the very important fact that God is in the business of restoration. If we only look at the world through the lens of what is broken and forget that God desires to restore it, it will only result in anger and frustration.

When we realize that the anger and frustration we feel for the things that break our hearts in this world also break the heart of God, we have usually identified our holy discontent. 

One of my favorite lines says this, "The most inspired, motivated, and driven people I know are the ones who live their lives from the energy of their holy discontent. Most important, they suit up and jump in to the game when God says, "If you'll hook up with me, I'll involve you in effecting some much needed change around here!""

Oh, that I would live my life from that place. Actually taking action instead of just complaining. The bible is filled with stories of common, ordinary men and women who have partnered with God to do things they could never do on their own. I want to be one of those!

So take stock. What fuels your firestorm of frustration? What breaks you heart and makes you want to help change the world? If you can't answer that quite yet, stick with us on our journey. I pray that our faithful God will speak clearly to each of us and that we will be courageous enough to jump in the deep end with both feet!

Chapter 2 next Wednesday, May 26. 7-8:30 pm in High Connections at the church. Join us there or online.

Descriptors

So, by way of update (if you have been following the blog), I am going strong on day 114 of reading chronologically through the Bible. It is actually a very cool way to do it because not only do I get the stories in order as they occurred (as much as possible), but YouVersion has this little box on one side of my page that keeps track of my progress. Today I am officially 31% done with reading the Bible through in a year. Being a big numbers girl, seeing that graph move, knowing that someone is keeping track of my progress gives me the accountability I need to keep going every day.

I have officially moved into the section of the Bible that is the "not so mind gripping" - the LISTS! Yesterday, in 1 Chronicles 1 & 2, I read the lists of people who had these sons, who had these sons, who had these sons and every once in a while a daughter was thrown in the mix (that is a whole separate blog post), etc. When reading through these lists, I noticed something. Occasionally, I would come across a name and there would be a descriptor there like: 

The sons of Ham: Cush, Egypt, Put, and Canaan. The sons of Cush: Seba, Havilah, Sabta, Raama, and Sabteca. The sons of Raamah: Sheba and Dedan. Cush fathered Nimrod. He was the first on earth to be a mighty man. A few more verses down it describes The son of Carmi: Achan, the troubler of Israel... 

In reading 2 chapters, I came across a few more of these descriptors and it made me wonder "why did these particular people deserve the extra line in scripture?" Now, I am not a seminary grad and so I am sure this is probably not the correct answer to this question, but in my head, what makes sense is that they did something that made them stand out and was noteworthy. Some good, some not so good.

Then in today's reading I saw this in Psalm 87:6a The Lord records as he registers the peoples.

Humm... what is He recording about me? Daunting question! What is God recording about how I am living my life? What descriptors would I find behind my name in His record?

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have stumbled across a bit of a heated debate in one of my comment threads about social injustice. ( I so love stirring the pot!) At one point, commentators said something about it being all about "us and what we know" and  "turning into a "who" is more prideful than the other." The funny thing is that I know all of these people and would not consider any of them prideful or self centered (and I certainly know of enough people who ARE to adequately compare!) I guess if anyone speaks from experience or tells others what they know or have done it can come off as prideful or self serving to some. We all get labeled with something by someone, even ourselves. 

We use descriptors to tell people who we are in our profiles, people use descriptors to introduce us to someone new, God uses descriptors when He records things about me in His record book. The latter are really the only ones I care about. I just really pray that of all the things God records about my life, the good outweighs the bad, the action overshadows the apathy, the love outshines the hate, the passion overtakes the indifference. I won't always get it right - I just want to be moving in the right direction.

What will he record about you today?

World Changers

Over the last few weeks I have been increasingly challenged about what I am put on this earth for. The easy answer would be music. I love it! It is "in" me. But I think God is pushing me to go deeper than that. I guess one might say that I am dealing with a good old fashioned case of "Holy Discontent" as Bill Hybels calls it. What fuels the fire of my personal vision in life? Why am I here?

Most who know me would agree that I am a very passionate person.  Usually when people describe me, they do not use "wimpy" adjectives. While in a way that can be a little off putting, I have chosen of late to embrace the intensity that God has put in my spirit and ask myself this question - "What am I supposed to do with that?" A coffee conversation the other day led to this verse:

  If I say, "I will not mention him,

   or speak any more in his name,"

 there is in my heart as it were a burning fire

   shut up in my bones,

 and I am weary with holding it in,

   and I cannot. Jeremiah 20:9

I think that just about fits where I am. I am feeling a "fire in my bones" and I can't seem to hold it in. I feel it swelling and at some point, will not be able to contain it. The issue I am wrestling with at this point is trying to identify what exactly is causing that fire. What is fueling it? What is it supposed to drive me to?

I know that I want what I do here on earth to REALLY matter for the Kingdom. I know that the fact that there are people hurting and suffering around the world every day that need the saving power of Jesus and yet - don't know him boggles my mind.  I read one blogger who has just returned from Russia and Moldova doing a documentary on the sex trafficking over there. (check out Flowerdust HERE) I have a some friends who are getting ready to spend weeks in Uganda helping to relocate orphans to a new, safer home and trying to raise awareness of their need. (you can see what they are doing HERE) And still others picking up and flying to Honduras to help children who have no one else to help them. (more amazing photos of that HERE) The thing about all of these great "causes" (as some would term them) is that they are all connected to people! People who need to see the love of Jesus.

During my quite time today, this verse came to mind:

He has told you, O man, what is good;

  and what does the LORD require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

  and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

That definitely strikes a chord with me. Not sure why quite yet, but I intend to find out. The plan? Glad you asked. I intend to jump in to Bill Hybels Book - Holy Discontent and pray for God to show me what is next.

If you are stirred by this and would like to join me going through the book, please let me know. I bet it would stir some great coffee conversations. But in the mean time you can check out a short check list to get you started HERE.

Where is God stirring you? How are you going to change the world for HIS Kingdom purpose? Even today, pray for opportunity to be a world changer. I guarantee if you look at life through that lens, someone's world will be changed every day. Even if it is just yours!