Love it?
Hate it?
Somewhere in the middle?
I am one that, for the most part, likes it. I have a tendency to get bored when things stay the same for too long. I can usually navigate change well and enjoy the process.
However...
What happens when God asks you to change and it involves something that you love and hold very dear to you heart? That's the world I am living in right now.
For the last 7 years I have had the privilege of serving the Lord through my music. It is my love and passion, but God asked me to lay it down. He has asked me to give up something that I hold very very dear and instead, move in to a place of uncertainty.
I am not a fan of uncertainty. I like to be able to see the picture even when the pieces are not all together yet. I actually usually do that fairly easily. But not this time. It is just blurry. I can't see how things are going to all work out and it makes me uneasy.
The real "ah-ha" moment came when I heard God say "Do you love your job and your ministry more than you love Me?" "Will you lay it down for Me?"
I was faced with the ugly question of whether or not I had made my worship an idol that was more important that the One who was the object of that worship.
In the Bible, Genesis 22, Abraham was faced with the same situation. He longed for a son and when Isaac was born, he thanked God for the gift of his son. He loved Isaac more than his own life.
Then God asked Abraham to make the most difficult decision of his life. God asked him to lay Isaac on an alter and sacrifice him like an animal to honor the Lord.
And Abraham did what the Lord asked.
Only at the very last moment, God stopped Abraham from killing his son and provided a ram to sacrifice in his place.
God saw that Abraham was willing to lay down his most precious thing, a supreme sacrifice for sure. And so God blessed Abraham and all his descendants.
I am not comparing my situation in any way to the magnificent sacrifice Abraham was willing to make for the Lord, but I do feel like God was asking the same question of me.
"Are you willing to give up what you hold dear because I ask it of you. Are you willing to move to a place of uncertainty that may cost you something because you love me and you trust that I have something better for you?"
And so, with tears and mixed emotions, I said "Yes, Lord. I will lay it down for you. I will lay it down because I love you and I trust you."
As I navigate this change, I don't do it right every day - but I try my best to give it over to the Lord because He asked it of me. I strive to navigate these days with grace and trust that His plan for my life is far better than anything I could ever ask or imagine.
What may He be asking you to give up? Is there anything that you may are putting above Him in your life? Will you lay it down if and when he asks?
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