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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Ministry is Hard!

My bible reading right now is taking me through the journey of the Israelites through the desert. Man, Moses and his other leaders had a hard job! They tried their very best to follow the will of the Lord as He was guiding them to the Promise land, and yet the people complained. They saw the evidence of God working in such tangible ways and still they chose to gripe and rebel. 

I have felt for a very long time like I am called to be like Aaron and Hur in Exodus 17, when they held up Moses' arms in the desert to help the people fight the battle. Moses was asked by the Lord to keep his hands raised high in the air as Israel fought and every time he dropped his arms they would start to lose the battle. So as he got tired, Aaron and Hur came to his side to hold up his arms and give him strength. I feel like God has called me to that roll in support the senior leadership of several churches I have been in over time, including the one I am in now. I feel very protective over the leadership God has placed over me and will do what ever I can to lift them up and help them. That part is easy for me. 

But some days I feel like Moses. Lately, I have been doing it a lot! I want to cry out the same way that Moses did when he told God he was not strong enough to lead the people God place in his care. I want to remind God that ministry is to hard some days, as if He didn't know this already. I want to beg Him to take the target off my back, until I remember He asked me to take up my cross daily and follow Him - His cross was not easy to bear and He didn't call me to a life of "easy." 

I guess when I take a step back and look at things a little removed, I am not surprised I have been feeling this way. God is moving in a powerful way and doing amazing things at our church right now. Of course Satan will try to derail and distract - especially people in leadership positions. 

A dear friend emailed me last night and asked if I had been experiencing any spiritual attack as I prepare for a fairly significant night coming up soon. I hadn't thought about it until that very moment. Hadn't seen it for what it was. I was content to have my little pity party (not unlike Moses sometimes).

So today, I have decided to change my prayer. Today I will pray for God to open my eyes to see every situation for what it is and to keep my focus on him. I will pray for Him to give me wisdom to lead those He chooses to put in my path. I will pray for wisdom and ask Him to help me have as much grace for others as He has for me. But most of all, I will pray that He use me up for His glory no matter how hard it is and tired I get. And if my arms get tired of the fight, I pray he will bring me people like my dear friend who will lift me up and help me to keep moving forward in the task that God has laid before me.

If you read this today, remember to pray for your leaders in ministry. They have a hard job (far more difficult than most people know). I am praying for mine right now.