The Times They are a Changin'

How do you feel about change?

Love it?
Hate it?
Somewhere in the middle?

I am one that, for the most part, likes it. I have a tendency to get bored when things stay the same for too long. I can usually navigate change well and enjoy the process. 

However...

What happens when God asks you to change and it involves something that you love and hold very dear to you heart? That's the world I am living in right now. 

For the last 7 years I have had the privilege of serving the Lord through my music. It is my love and passion, but God asked me to lay it down. He has asked me to give up something that I hold very very dear and instead, move in to a place of uncertainty. 

I am not a fan of uncertainty. I like to be able to see the picture even when the pieces are not all together yet. I actually usually do that fairly easily. But not this time. It is just blurry. I can't see how things are going to all work out and it makes me uneasy. 

The real "ah-ha" moment came when I heard God say "Do you love your job and your ministry more than you love Me?" "Will you lay it down for Me?"

I was faced with the ugly question of whether or not I had made my worship an idol that was more important that the One who was the object of that worship.

In the Bible, Genesis 22, Abraham was faced with the same situation. He longed for a son and when Isaac was born, he thanked God for the gift of his son. He loved Isaac more than his own life. 

Then God asked Abraham to make the most difficult decision of his life. God asked him to lay Isaac on an alter and sacrifice him like an animal to honor the Lord. 

And Abraham did what the Lord asked.

Only at the very last moment, God stopped Abraham from killing his son and provided a ram to sacrifice in his place. 

God saw that Abraham was willing to lay down his most precious thing, a supreme sacrifice for sure. And so God blessed Abraham and all his descendants.

I am not comparing my situation in any way to the magnificent sacrifice Abraham was willing to make for the Lord, but I do feel like God was asking the same question of me. 

"Are you willing to give up what you hold dear because I ask it of you. Are you willing to move to a place of uncertainty that may cost you something because you love me and you trust that I have something better for you?"

And so, with tears and mixed emotions, I said "Yes, Lord. I will lay it down for you. I will lay it down because I love you and I trust you."

As I navigate this change, I don't do it right every day - but I try my best to give it over to the Lord because He asked it of me. I strive to navigate these days with grace and trust that His plan for my life is far better than anything I could ever ask or imagine.

What may He be asking you to give up? Is there anything that you may are putting above Him in your life? Will you lay it down if and when he asks?

I, the Doorkeeper

I am just about to finish up a 21 day  journey with the Lord. It has been challenging at times, but mostly I have really enjoyed it. The reading plan that is taking me through this journey is incredibly well done. I am seeing things in scripture that I have not seen before or am seeing them in a new light. I find myself anting to know more about what these passages mean and why they were written. With only 3 days left, today was no exception.


Here is what I read today:


Psalm 84



1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts!2 My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.


3  Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God.4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise! Selah


5  Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.6 As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.7 They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.


8  O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah9 Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of your anointed!


10  For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.12 O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!


This Psalm is so rich and full of great nuggets, but the one God spoke right in to my heart is in vs. 10. For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.


I had heard this verse many times and I always thought the doorkeeper reference was to someone who held a "lesser than "post" of some kind. Something that they were forced to do and maybe were looked down upon. Boy was I wrong. The doorkeeper was actually (in my opinion) one of the best positions in the whole temple. They were tasked with ushering people in to the temple to meet with God. They also sang and ministered to the Lord with music day and night. The only bad part of the job is that they were on a rotation and only got to do it 2 weeks out of the year (thus the reference to "a day in your courts is better than a thousand years elsewhere". He never wants his turn to end.)


As I was reading this passage, I realized that worship leaders really are the equivalent to the doorkeepers in the Old Testament. We usher people in to experience the presence of God (when we do our job right) and we have the privilege of ministering to the Lord in song.


The writer of this Psalm is reminding the readers how much more desirable it is to be in the presence of the Almighty God than to take part in the things of this world that so often seem to give pleasure but that are only fleeting and often times sinful.


So today, as I continue on my journey with God, I embrace the call to be a doorkeeper for His people. I believe that whether you call yourself a "worship leader" or not, you can still join me as a door keeper. You can daily, in your own world, let people experience the Almighty by your actions and you can minister to the Lord in praise and worship whether it is sung from the mountain tops or quietly in your heart. He just longs to be with you.


Be a doorkeeper today. It really is the best job around!

Is Jesus Really All That Great?

Shocking title I know. That is kind of the point. The shock value of that statement made by someone who claims to love Jesus with all their heart is high. It was hard to even type it.  But as I read my Bible in the comfort of my home this morning, as I pour over my music that I will bring as an offering to the God I love so desperately this coming Sunday, this is the question that came to my mind.

Is Jesus really all that great? Because most of the time, we sure don't act like it. 

I was at a conference last week and heard the story of a woman (Christine Caine) who has been called to start a ministry to rescue other women from the sex trade. (more about A21 here) She told the horrific story of a girl who had been held captive and taken to another country for the purpose of working in a red light district. This girl was one of the few who even survived the journey. She was eventually rescued from the sex trade and brought to a safe house where she encountered Christine who told her about Jesus. 

Wonderful you might say! Well, yes it is wonderful. But the girls response? "If your Jesus is so great, why did it take you so long to get here?"

I heard another story from someone just getting back from a mission trip to the jungles of Africa (literally.) They went to tell people who had probably never of heard of Him, about Jesus. When speaking to one woman about Christ and His plan of salvation, they ask her if she would like to accept Him into her life and her Lord and Savior. Her response? "Yes! I have just been waiting for someone to come and tell me how."

For me, both of those stories bring deep sorrow and conviction because more often than not, I am the one who is taking to long or waiting to tell someone about my Jesus that they so desperately need. 

It seems such an obvious thing - share the one who saved your life with anyone around you who will listen. And yet we keep silent out of fear or embarrassment, or a host of other reason we have on a long list of bad ones. 

I don't know about you, but I am always eager to hear a great story. We are transfixed by the story on the news of the man who risked his life for a total stranger by pulling them out of a burning house. We stop what we are doing to listen to the story of the hero who foiled the armed robbery with a selfless act of bravery. If you were the one in those stories who was rescued - you would be more than willing to sing the praises of your hero to anyone who would listen out of gratitude. Right?

I had the privilege of being a part of the filming of  of some awesome stories last week. Stories that made me laugh and made me cry (always the sign of a good story - right?) Stories of people whose lives have been saved. Stories of people who had no hope and now do. I am so very grateful that they decided to share their stories with me. 

Each of us has a story. I look at my story compared to some and tend to minimize the value of it because in my eyes, it is not as dramatic as some. I am coming to find that thinking that thought is toxic to me and those that God has put in my life. Just because I was not rescued from the sex trade or some other tragic situation does not minimize my story of redemption. I am a sinner, saved from a future that I surely deserved, given the gift eternal life with my Jesus forever.

I say that I believe that Jesus is "all that great" but when I hide his redemptive work in my life by not telling my story, I have to ask myself if I really believe that. 

Someone needs to hear my story because it will speak to them and maybe, just maybe show them that what they need in their life is Jesus. So I will speak my story boldly and ask God to use it for His glory. 

What is your story? It is the most important story that someone will hear for the one who needs YOU to tell it to them. 

Tell your story to someone today, they might have been waiting for you!

Broken

Today I am sitting in St. Arbucks far from home having a non-fat, extra-hot, with-whip, 1/2-pump, mocha-white mocha (how's that for an order - you may commit it to memory so that if you ever have need of a favor you will know I can be bought) and finding myself having a bunch of alone time to reflect. 

I find myself looking out the window at the people passing me by and wondering how many of them would consider themselves broken? Broken in some way, mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. How many are searching for literally God only knows what?

I know that I certainly fit in to the broken category in many ways. I guess we all do in our own way. We have sin to thank for that. But today I am finding myself broken in a different way. I find that God is breaking my heart in new ways for people who need Him. People who are broken because of this fallen world and don't know that only Jesus is the fix for that. 

I find myself holding back tears every few moments as I am touched by a song or a thought and know that I am not alone in my tears. God sheds them everyday for His creation that He loves so very much. Those that He longs to mend in various ways but will not turn to Him. His creation that turns away from Him to find fulfillment and healing in other things. 

So today, I welcome being broken. I embrace the tears and want to see my world as God does. I feel that unless I do, the people God puts in my path and on my heart will continue to be broken in a way that is not desirable. 

How long has it been since you took a good long look at the world around you and were broken as you saw it through God's eyes? Take some time and do it. Someones life could depend on it!

And if you are looking for a little light listening to spur you on, check out:

Addison Road - Run

Mercy Me - Won't You be My Love
Hillsong Song - Hosanna
better yet- support the bands and go buy them on itunes :o)

Heaven Can Not Contain Him

It never fails to amaze me what new things I see when I read scripture and what God puts in my heart when I spend time in His word. This year, along with a good friend for accountability, I am endeavoring to read through the Bible chronologically. As of today, I am officially 44.1% done. Yea! 

The point of that paragraph was not to brag, but to let you know how many years in the past my resolutions to read through the Bible have failed and I truly believe that the accountability has been the key to staying on track this time. I am just to weak and lazy to do it on my own. So, get an accountability partner and get after it. You don't have to wait til January 1. Pick a partner, pick a plan and get after it. Here is the link! And if you don't have a partner, put me down - I would be honored to monitor your progress for you! (and leave me a comment if you decide to take on this challenge.)

Now - on to what God is doing in my heart today. 

The current subject of reading is Solomon building the temple of the Lord. Man! What and undertaking that was. It took him 7 years to complete. Specially cut wood (sorry H - it was cedar), carvings on all the walls and doors of flowers, palm trees and Cherubim, and then all of that overlaid with pure gold. I struggle in my mind to even imagine such a magnificent place. Here is an artist's rendering but I imagine that this does not come close to doing it justice. You can read about the description in 2 Chronicles 2.

The verse that stuck out to me was when Solomon, in all his wisdom, spoke this in 2 Chron. 2:6 -

"But who is able to build him a house, since heaven, even highest heaven, cannot contain him?"

Even highest heaven cannot contain Him! And with one small phrase, I am once again put in my place. Small and not able to bow low enough to worship my God. 

Why is it that it is so very easy for us (me) to let my mind wander away from the reality of who I worship, who I give my life to?

I find myself taking the reading of His word casually, as something to check off my To-Do list and move on. I find myself forgetting that when I am putting together a church service, I am not just creating a list of songs and a flow for the morning, but I am needing to search the heart of the Almighty God for His plans to commune with His people. As my son would say, FAIL!

Oh God! Forgive me for letting this world get in the way of seeing You for who You are. For forgetting the awe and reverence I should live in every moment of every day. For thinking in any way I can on my own bring people to have a revelation of You. 

Not even heaven can contain you!

Lord, thank you for your mercy. Thank you for "right sizing" me yet again. My life, my all is Yours! Use me to point people to you, the omnipotent, awesome, one and only God!!

Holy Discontent Wk #3

So sorry that I skipped a week of posting on the book. The "Reader's Digest" version of last week is that it gave an overview of the holy discontent of great people in history like Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa. There was not much speaking directly to me, so I found it hard to write on, although the group discussion was good and I discovered something about myself. I have MHDD - Multiple Holy Discontent Disorder. I thought I had mine pegged after week one, alas, week 2 brought things into a clearer light. (and before you worry to much about my MHDD - I also discovered that I am not alone in it.) So, if you have not quite found your HD (Holy Discontent), fear not and read on.

This week's reading I found easy to read and thought provoking. The chapter title is Your "One Thing." Before you worry that you have been off track with all the many things you give you time and energy and passion to, relax. Hybels is quick to let readers know that we, as believers, should feel passion and take action on things that call for it (like earthquake relief in Haiti), but all of those things are probably not your "one thing".

Eph. 2:10 says that "we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Basically that means that even before we were born, God had specific things He set us apart to do. (yes, YOU TOO!). As I read this book and think about what that might be for me, the picture becomes more and more clear. I am right where I am supposed to be, spurring others on to a more connected, passionate worship of God.  I will say that it took someone else pointing it out to me before I saw that though. I mean, I KNEW that in my heart and my spirit but I think I was so busy trying to look (2 chapters in to the book - can we say over achiever) for something new and unique as my HD that I totally missed what God had already revealed to me in so many ways before. 

If you are reading this and thinking you are behind the curve because you are still not sure what your HD is yet - don't be! Not everyone in the discussion group has clarity yet, and I don't think most are supposed to at this point. It is a process after all. To help in the process, Hybels gives this description, "Your "one thing" is the stirring situation that causes so much damage to your soul that it brings you to your own Popeye moment - a place where you feel you simply must do something. ... it is God inviting you into a intentional and personalized partnership to renovate reality. "

In short, your HD is something that: wrecks you, vies for all of your attention, keeps you awake at night capturing your heart and your imagination. It is the one thing inside you that your soul feels MUST BE ADDRESSED. When you find it you will know "you were born for it."

In new and exciting ways, God is re-purposing in my soul what I was born for - to worship Him with everything thing that I am and to help others do the same. So, how about you? Do you know what you were born for? Sound off in the comment section and let's get a little discussion going for those who are not able to make the meet-ups. Ready - Set - GO!

The Friendship and The Fear

Yesterday was a typical Sunday. Full of church and work and worship and fellowship with other artist/worshipers as we sat in the room back stage waiting for our time to once again take the stage to lead the congregation in song. What happens in that room during our "down time" is a mystery to most and each week is very different, depending on the characters that are appear (and I do mean characters!) Lot's of bonding and conversation takes place over 6 hours of on and off the stage. 

At one point yesterday, the conversation turned to a song called Friend of God. Now, no offense to the writer, but that is a song that I can hardly stomach singing. The version of it that most people hear is to me - very "bubble gum." I feel that it shows only the "hey let's go fishing together, or to the mall" side of God. One participant in the conversation made a statement something to the effect of "lots of people come to church and need to see that side of God." I assume this is because they only hear about the wrath side of Him from a non-churched person's perspective. 

The conversation continued down that line for just a bit and while I agree to a certain extent that everyone who comes to God needs to know that He is desires to be their friend and have them come to Him with any and everything in their lives, most people forget that He is also to be feared as seen by David's mistake referenced in my previous blog post. 

I always find it humorous when I have a conversation and shortly there after God brings something to my attention in scripture that adds something to the conversation (a true picture of a friend I suppose.) This morning in my reading I read this:

Psalm 25:12-14 Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.

For me, the highlighted verse nails it on the head! How can you have a friendship with someone you do not KNOW and how can you KNOW GOD and not fear Him? They go hand in hand.  If I have just met someone, I would not normally consider them my friend, only an acquaintance. To be a true friend, it takes relationship and to build relationship you have to spend time getting to really know that person. 

In my lifetime, I have had very few people that I would consider friends in the deepest sense of the word. A friendship takes work, it takes time, it takes giving more than you get sometimes, it takes honesty, it takes love and all that takes effort. But when that occurs - you have something very precious and oh how I long to have that kind of friendship with my maker.

Several years ago a singer/song writer named Matt Redman came on the Christian music scene. Most of you would know his as the writer of The Heart of Worship. I had occasions to hear him speak and not only learn from his leading as a worshiper but as a God follower. His heart is one that is not found very often. I imagine him like King David - a man after God's own heart. He wrote a song called The Friendship and The Fear. The lyrics of the song are rich and so I leave you to ponder them today and ask yourself these - On the friendship scale, have much to you give compared to how much you gain? Do you fear the Lord, I mean really fear Him? If you struggle with how to answer these questions, then join me in the ever present quest to know Him better. If you could answer them to your satisfaction fairly easily, then I would challenge you by saying I don't think you KNOW Him as well as you think you do.

VERSE 1:
Show me the way of the cross once again
Denying myself for the love that I've gained
Everything's You now, everything's changed,
It's time You had my whole life;
You can have it all.

CHORUS:

I resolve to give it all;
Some things must die,
Some things must live.
Not, "What can I gain,"
But, "What can I give?"
If much is required when much is received,
Then You can have my whole life;
Jesus, have it all.

VERSE 2:
I've given like a beggar but lived like the rich
And crafted myself a more comfortable cross,
Yet what I am called to is deeper than this,
It's time You had my whole life;
You can have it all. 

6 Steps and a Sacrifice

What is your morning prep like to get to church on a Sunday? If it is anything like my house was when my kids were small there is one word - chaotic! Even now that my kids are older there is some element of that to get everyone to church on time. Because I work at church, I have to get up way before the sun (which should be breaking some sort of commandment, but according to Proverbs 31 - apparently is not! ) Usually one or more of my children either choose to or have to come with me because of their volunteer schedule. Anyway - you get the idea.... In my house, unless I am very intentional, we usually arrive to worship the God of the universe pretty much in the same manner we would make a trip to Target or get out the door to school/work.

In my Bible reading I have come to the story of King David returning the ark of the covenant to Jerusalem after being captured by the Philistines and being away from the Israelites for some time. He decided it was time to bring it back to where it belonged and so he made a plan to go get it. Enter problem #1 - David didn't follow the rules. The ark was supposed to be carried by certain people in a certain way any time it was transported. Instead, he had prepared what was, I am sure, a very nice cart pulled by oxen. Of course! Why not? It was probably very heavy and this would make the 6 or so mile trip much easier and quicker.  

So they story goes that they are moving along, the ox trips, one well meaning guy (Uzzah) reaches up to steady the ark so it doesn't fall to the ground and BAM! He's dead. Why, you might be asking? Well, no one was supposed to touch the ark but the priests appointed to care for it.  Not fair, you might be saying. What was he supposed to do, let it fall? Well, that is exactly what King David said. He was not very happy with God. 

2 Samuel 6:8-11 And David was angry because the Lord had burst forth against Uzzah. And that place is called Perez-uzzah, to this day. And David was afraid of the Lord that day, and he said, How can the ark of the Lord come to me? So David was not willing to take the ark of the Lord into the city of David. But David took it aside to the house of Obed-edom the Gittite. And the ark of the Lord remained in the house of Obed-edom the Gittite three months, and the Lord blessed Obed-edom and all his household.

So, here is where I have to laugh! David sees the Obed's house is prospering because of the presence of the Lord, so he decided to try to move it again - but this time doe it the right way. He uses the priests to follow all the proper directions for moving it - including carrying it on poles the whole 6 miles. But take a look at the highlighted verse above. David was afraid of the Lord that day... There was now a holy fear going on that should have been there from the beginning. David remembered who he was dealing with. So here is what he did:

2 Samuel 6:12-14 So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing. And when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six steps, he sacrificed an ox and a fattened animal. And David danced before the Lord with all his might.

Did you catch that? Every 6 STEPS David sacrificed not 1 but 2, what I would imagine were,  large animals. Every 6 steps for 6 miles they stopped and made an offering to the Lord. This was one long and bloody trip, full of work, but also filled with joy and worship before the Lord.

Truthfully, I probably need to paste this passage of scripture on the dash of my car, or on the bathroom mirror so I can see it when I get up (REALLY EARLY) to worship on Sundays. I have to remember who I am worshiping. I can not and should never treat coming in to the presence of God like it is something nonchalant. 

Through the blood sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, I no longer have to sacrifice animals every 6 steps to come before the Lord in worship, but I am called every minute of every day to sacrifice my life to Him. I love that Jesus made a way for me to boldly approach the throne of GRACE. Thank God for grace! I am grateful to be able to call the one who made me - my father and my friend. But I have to hold Him in the proper place, high and lifted up above all things here on this earth - full of awe, reverence and a holy fear. 

So this Sunday as you wrestle with the kids to get ready and into the car, as you wake up exhausted from the weekend which was once again "to full" and think twice about even going to church - consider all those obstacles you face and all the work it takes to get there as a joyful sacrifice to the King of Kings. Put on some worship music and dance before Him as an individual and a family as you prepare to join others to do more of the same.