An Ocean of Tears

I LOVE this picture, which is really funny because I have a fear of water, but looking at this picture I feel a sense of calm and peace. There are many other pictures of the ocean that are anything but calm and peaceful. (Deadliest Catch anyone?) I think it is the rough sea and what is IN the sea that I fear. I don't know what it holds and it makes me afraid. 

A few years ago, my husband and I were taken on a trip with his work to Mexico. It was a great trip! First one in our marriage that we didn't go with any kids YAY! They had all of our days planned out for us and one of the excursions they planned was on a large catamaran out into the ocean to go snorkeling.  GULP!!! I seriously almost didn't go. I was to afraid. But after taking some dramamine I boarded the boat, knowing that God had my days numbered and if I was supposed to die in this ocean and I didn't go, then He would have me miraculously dropped in the middle of said ocean to fulfill His will for my life. Melodramatic - maybe! But I was scared and it helped me to rationalize it that way. 

Anyway - I got on the boat and ended up having a really good day. The ocean was realatively calm and I even kind of fell in love with snorkeling (with the exception of scraping my legs up on a bunch of rocks and bleeding in to the water as I swam the 100 yards back to the boat fearing a shark attack! (No really - that part is true!) As much fear as I had of the unknown ocean, I conquered it and it felt really good. I would probably do it again.

Some ocean experiences don't end like that. I mean Titanic, Posiden Adventure, The Deep, JAWS. Ha! But seriously. I have heard stories of friend who have been on cruises that have hit rough sea and it was NOT fun. Not sure I ever want to go there. I am sure they didn't want to either, nor did they think that would be their experience when they set out on their adventure, but sometimes God has other things in store for us than what we have planned. 

I thought of the ocean today as I was reading in Psalm 56. Verse 8 says this:  

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

In my head, I tried to imagine a book that God keeps that has written down every time I (you, the whole world) tosses because we can't sleep due to life circumstances or are tossed to and fro by the "waves" we encounter.  I also pictured a bottle big enough to hold every tear drop that has ever fallen from the eyes of the human beings He created and loves so much. That bottle must be bigger than any ocean I have ever seen. Some of those tears were cried in the middle of the tempest and some were cried in a calm respite, but He knows every one of them. That thought kind of blew my mind!

In life, there are no guarantees of what is to come. Right now my life feels somewhere in the middle of the two pictures posted here, but that could change in an instant. As I am writing this I think of many in all sorts of places - friends who have recently lost a baby, a daughter who is wading through the stress of college, a woman who for the first time in a long time is at peace in her life, a couple who is homeless and through all that stress is still seeing God's provision for their precious family, a couple awaiting the arrival of their new daughter, a husband and father who feels imprisoned by his job and yet fights through it every day for the ones he cares about, the young mother who is overwhelmed, a precious 6 yr. old and her family fighting her cancer, and one who is grateful for a year cancer free. The list could go on...

No matter what the sea of your life looks like today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or the next take these words of David to heart in Psalm 56:9b -10:

This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. 

This was written during a horrible time for David as he and his men were being hunted by King Saul. Yet he knew that God saw him, held every tear that he cried, counted every tossing and David trusted. God is in control of your life if you have given it to Him. He sees you. He knows you. He loves you!

And next time you see the ocean (stormy or calm), remember God has it all in the palm of His hand.