My bible reading right now is taking me through the journey of the Israelites through the desert. Man, Moses and his other leaders had a hard job! They tried their very best to follow the will of the Lord as He was guiding them to the Promise land, and yet the people complained. They saw the evidence of God working in such tangible ways and still they chose to gripe and rebel.
I have felt for a very long time like I am called to be like Aaron and Hur in Exodus 17, when they held up Moses' arms in the desert to help the people fight the battle. Moses was asked by the Lord to keep his hands raised high in the air as Israel fought and every time he dropped his arms they would start to lose the battle. So as he got tired, Aaron and Hur came to his side to hold up his arms and give him strength. I feel like God has called me to that roll in support the senior leadership of several churches I have been in over time, including the one I am in now. I feel very protective over the leadership God has placed over me and will do what ever I can to lift them up and help them. That part is easy for me.
But some days I feel like Moses. Lately, I have been doing it a lot! I want to cry out the same way that Moses did when he told God he was not strong enough to lead the people God place in his care. I want to remind God that ministry is to hard some days, as if He didn't know this already. I want to beg Him to take the target off my back, until I remember He asked me to take up my cross daily and follow Him - His cross was not easy to bear and He didn't call me to a life of "easy."
I guess when I take a step back and look at things a little removed, I am not surprised I have been feeling this way. God is moving in a powerful way and doing amazing things at our church right now. Of course Satan will try to derail and distract - especially people in leadership positions.
A dear friend emailed me last night and asked if I had been experiencing any spiritual attack as I prepare for a fairly significant night coming up soon. I hadn't thought about it until that very moment. Hadn't seen it for what it was. I was content to have my little pity party (not unlike Moses sometimes).
So today, I have decided to change my prayer. Today I will pray for God to open my eyes to see every situation for what it is and to keep my focus on him. I will pray for Him to give me wisdom to lead those He chooses to put in my path. I will pray for wisdom and ask Him to help me have as much grace for others as He has for me. But most of all, I will pray that He use me up for His glory no matter how hard it is and tired I get. And if my arms get tired of the fight, I pray he will bring me people like my dear friend who will lift me up and help me to keep moving forward in the task that God has laid before me.
If you read this today, remember to pray for your leaders in ministry. They have a hard job (far more difficult than most people know). I am praying for mine right now.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
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3 comments:
Good stuff Jan! Thanks for your perspective and for being transparent and sharing this. Praying for you guys!
Your post certainly gets a person thinking-I sincerely appreciate you sharing your perspective. But what do you do with a leader, who when you reach out to help them, they insist they've got it all covered? What if Moses wasn't able to witness with his own eyes that Israel was being defeated--do you think that he would have still allowed Aaron and Hur to help him keep his arms up, or do you think he would have dismissed them and their efforts to help? Would he have trusted them and appreciated what they offered as their service to God and His people?
I'll be your Hur anytime! I selfishly like to hear your voice so I can't offer to be your Aaron ;)
One of the best books I've read on spiritual warfare is "When the Enemy Strikes" by Charles Stanley. One part I always remember is about Ephesians 6:16 "In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." In his book, Stanley talks about the shields of that day being the size of doors. They would hold them up next to each other and form this wall that could not be penetrated by the enemy's arrows. He said that we need to hold up our shields of faith WITH one another in order to ward off the attacks of the enemy. I just noticed the words "ALL the flaming arrows"! Pretty cool - all to me means every last one! So...my shield is up! I have great faith that God is on the move and that great things are yet to come! Our leaders are praying and fasting right now!! We would be naive to think that the enemy wouldn't try to strike down all that God is doing in our church over the next month with Easter quickly approaching as a day to shout out to all those who have not heard the change that is coming when they meet Jesus! Victory is His!
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