The Process

If you read my last blog post, you know that I have been assigned a task that I am not good at. I have 4 weeks to become a video producer (from start to finish). If you haven't read it - I'll wait. Go ahead, read it now - if you don't you'll be lost reading this one. (insert Jeopardy theme song here!)

OK, good! You're back. Now back to the subject at hand - becoming something I am not! So, those of you that know me will completely understand (and laugh) when I say that deep within my spirit there is something crying out that this project I am about to embark on has GOT to be USEFUL for something. I mean really, who would take 4 weeks out of their life and go to all the trouble of creating something that will be shown to the 5 other people in my group and then file it away somewhere never to be used again. That is just silly!!

So, that brainstorming begins...

• How about a modern version of a bible story? I know one of the rules is that it can't be for church, but that is just MY church, right? Maybe when it is done I can sell it on Sermon Spice and some other church can use it. Then it would be worth my time. So, I start to rack my brain for ideas... nothin'. All shot down for various reasons, valid or not.
  
• How about a cooking show? Now, what the heck would I ever use that for? NEXT!
• How about...
• How about...

...and on it went. All ideas leading to the same place - no where. At least no where that seemed productive enough for me to spend my time on. Frustration and doubt have sufficiently set in at this point. I feel like this is a task I am not equip to do and I am going to fail. And for me - failure is not something I face well.

So, last night as I was discussing my project with some friends, "wisdom" showed up and whispered loudly in my ear (sounding remarkably like an actor friend of mine), "Jan, what if the point is not the end product, but the process itself? What if this whole thing is not about what you learn about being a video guru, but about what you learn about yourself?"

Light bulb!! I get it. At least for me, this whole thing is pushing me to the place that I can see benefit in breaking from my norm, not being afraid to try something I am not good at (yet) and not focusing on what it will be used for in the future.(sigh) It is about taking the walls I have boxed myself in with, that I didn't even know were there, and breaking them down brick by brick until the space around me to create in is wide open. It is about not being afraid to fail at something and just enjoy the ride. It is about seeking out others I can learn from and quite frankly who do some things better than I do!

So - this is me - embracing the process! Unsure of where I will be at the end of it, but grateful for the journey and those willing to take it with me!